Once there lived an ant and an elephant. They were close friends and one day, they were playing the game hide and seek. Now the first chance was for the ant to search the elephant and the ant saw the elephants under the tree.
Then it was the chance for the elephants to search the ant. The elephant searched everywhere but it could not find.
The ant was hiding in mosque and was praying and the elephants went up to the mountains and know that the ant was in the temple.
The door was closed, the window was also closed. Not even a hole was there. Then how the elephant did know the ant was in the temple?
Answer:
Since Muslims leave the slippers outside the mosque the ant too left its slippers outside the mosque.
QUESTION: How many legs does an elephant have?
ANSWER: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
QUESTION: Why did the elephant cross the road?
ANSWER: Chicken's day off.
QUESTION: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
ANSWER: About 5 mph (8kph in the rest of the world)
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
ANSWER: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
QUESTION: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
ANSWER: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
QUESTION: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
ANSWER: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
QUESTION: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: Can't get the fridge door closed.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: There's a VW parked outside it.
QUESTION: How do you get 8 elephants in a fridge?
ANSWER: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!
QUESTION: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
ANSWER: Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.
QUESTION: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
ANSWER: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO
QUESTION: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
ANSWER: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!
QUESTION: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
ANSWER: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.
QUESTION: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
ANSWER: Depends on the number of elephants.
QUESTION: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
ANSWER: The sun roof.
QUESTION: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
ANSWER: They were stuck in the VW.
QUESTION: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?
ANSWER: None, the elephants are in there!
QUESTION: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
ANSWER: Optimistic!
QUESTION: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
ANSWER: Free Parking.
QUESTION: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
ANSWER: Sole use of the elevator.
QUESTION: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
ANSWER: It's bike is outside.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
ANSWER: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
ANSWER: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
QUESTION: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
ANSWER: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
QUESTION: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
ANSWER: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
QUESTION: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
ANSWER: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
QUESTION: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
ANSWER: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
QUESTION: Why do elephants wear sandals?
ANSWER: So that they don't sink in the sand.
QUESTION: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
ANSWER: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
QUESTION: How do you make a dead elephant float?
ANSWER: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
ANSWER: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
QUESTION: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
ANSWER: Parachute him from an airplane.
QUESTION: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
ANSWER: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
QUESTION: What is a furry alligator?
ANSWER: A bear that went into the woods at 3 o'clock.
QUESTION: Why do ducks have flat feet?
ANSWER: From stamping out forest fires.
QUESTION: Why do elephants have flat feet?
ANSWER: From stamping out flaming ducks.
QUESTION: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
ANSWER: To fit on lily pads.
QUESTION: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
ANSWER: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
QUESTION: Why are frogs so short?
ANSWER: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
QUESTION: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
ANSWER: 5 O'clock (trick question - not "Time to get a new fence..")
QUESTION: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
ANSWER: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
QUESTION: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
ANSWER: No? Well, it must work.
QUESTION: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
ANSWER: They're all on the same team.
QUESTION: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
ANSWER: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
QUESTION: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
ANSWER: Take away his credit card.
QUESTION: Why do elephants have trunks?
ANSWER: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
QUESTION: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
ANSWER: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).
QUESTION: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
ANSWER: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".
QUESTION: What do you give a seasick elephant?
ANSWER: Lots of room.
QUESTION: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?
ANSWER: A dead ant.
QUESTION: How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ANSWER: Two, but you need a real big bulb.
QUESTION: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
ANSWER: An elephant with spare parts
QUESTION: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
ANSWER: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!
QUESTION: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
ANSWER: Smokey the Elephant.
QUESTION: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
ANSWER: You miss most of the picture!
QUESTION: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
ANSWER: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
QUESTION: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?
ANSWER: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.
QUESTION: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?
ANSWER: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
QUESTION: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
ANSWER: Cinder elephant.
Hemant : How does an elephant go up a tree?
Sunil: It stands on a corn and waits for it to grow.
A Teacher asked the students of a class that, what is the meaning of dev & Devi?
A Student Replied: Kapil Dev & Sri Devi
Once an ant and elephant were going on a new scooter. They met with an accident. The elephant was died but ant was alive. Why?
Because ant was wearing a helmate.
How does an elephant go on holiday?
He takes a jumbo jet!
Why did the elephant paint his nails red?
So that he could hide in the cherry tree!
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
No? That's because he hides himself so well!
QUESTION: Which gate can we eat?
ANSWER: Colgate.
Once there was an elephant walking on the edge of a valley, full of water. The elephant fell into the water. So, what is the first thing he will do?
Ans- Get wet!!
Once an ant was on her way to a restaurant on a scooter, on the way she meets a elephant who asks her to give him a lift, she tells him to sit at the back.
While they were travelling, they meet another elephant asking for a lift, but the ant refuses, why???
Ans: Traffic rules say, three persons not allowed on 1 scooter.
Once some hunters were after an elephant. The elephant didn't know what to do. He met his friend, ant on the road. He told ant his problem.
She said: "Don't worry. Just hide behind me!!! "
Two elephants one elephant was a male and another female. The female entered the bus and the male did not enter it why?
because it was a ladies bus
An elephant and ant were friends. They decided to go to swimming. They went to a swimming pool but when the ant swims the elephant sits and when elephant swims the ant sits. Why?
Ans: Because they have only one swimming costume
Once the ant is swimming and the elephant rushes to the swim pool and requests the ant to come out. As soon as the ant comes out, the elephant asks her to go back. Why? Because he wanted to check if the ant was wearing his swim suit!!!
QUESTION: Why Did the Elephant Hide behind the Strawberry bush?
ANSWER: The elephant and the ant were playing hide and seek.
Boy- Sir, My nose is running.
Teacher- Well, chase it!
once the ant and the elephant were playing hide n seek game It was elephant's turn to catch the ant but the ant was caught .she was hiding in the temple Then the ant asked how he came to know that she was hiding in the temple ,then he replied that he saw her sandals lying outside
Dog: Where are you going?
Ant: My rakhi brother the elephant has met with an accident. Since we have the same blood group, I am going to donate some blood for him.
How can an elephant sit in the car in three steps?
Simple, open the door ,sits in the car and close the door.
Once an elephant and ant loved each other and were getting married without tell their mothers. They were getting married in a temple and they say the elephant mother walking in, so the ant says-hide behind me
Once 2 men went for an interview. the first was intelligent and he otter was foolish.
The 1st man was called to the manager office. The manager asked him
"who was the 1st prime minister of India?" he said " Jawaharlal Nehru "
the 2nd question was when did India get freedom?" he said 1947 .
The 3rd question was "is there life on Mars?" he said scientists are still researching".
He was happy with his answers.
The foolish man had been hearing all this. It was his chance.
The manager asked him "what is your name?"
the foolish man said Jawaharlal Nehru.
the 2nd question was" when were you born?" he said 1947 ".
The 3rd question was "are you male or a female he said “scientists are still researching"
An elephant married a mosquito. At night mosquito ran away. Why?
Because elephant had turned on the good night mat.
One day an elephant was crying and an ant came to him and said, "Why are you crying?"
He replied that a friend of ant's has stolen his sleepers.
Teacher: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT AN ELEPHANT IS GOING ON HOLIDAYS.
Student: IT PACKS ITS TRUNK.
What kind of elephants live in Antarctica ?
Cold ones!
Ram: “Can this parrot talk?”
Shopkeeper: “Yes ! it repeats everything it hears.”
(after a few days, at the pet shop)
Ram: “This parrot cannot speak at all!! You said it repeats whatever it hears.”
Shopkeeper: “I know! This is because it is deaf!!!”
Animals
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INDIAN AND AFRICAN ELEPHANTS?
ANS ABOUT 3000 MILES
The teacher gave a lot of homework to the class. so one boy asked, "teacher, its too much! can we take a day off?".
The teacher replied, "no! i don't know anything. you must do the homework."
finally, the student answered, "teacher, if you don't know anything, why do you teach us?".
Once a man was going in his car and suddenly he crashed with a very fat lady who was a weight lifting champion.
The lady got very angry and asked the man to come out of the car. She made a circle around the man and asked him not to step out of the circle.
She began to break the car now. When she was breaking the car she looked back and saw that the man was laughing. The same thing happened thrice. Then she very angrily asked the man that why was he still laughing.
The man answered that "when she was breaking the car he had slowly stepped out of the circle."
What happens when an elephant falling in a pool?
Ans. he will get wet
que)what do an ant tell elephant and elephant goes in coma
Ans) I am pregnant with your baby
QUESTION: What did the banana say when the elephant stepped on it? A:Nothing because bananas can't speak, that's so obvious!!!
what will happen if an elephant jump in a swimming pool? it will get wet
why did the ant hidebehind the tree? to trip the elephant.
Q:how do you know that there is an elephant in the fridge ?
A:By the footprints on the butter
once an elephant got hurt. ant was also going with him in the ambulance. why? to donate blood
Ant: What is your age?
Elephant: My age is 5 years.
Ant: Such a young age and such a huge body.
Elephant: Tan Kee Shakti, Man Ki Shakti, Bournvita!!
Ant: Ok
Elephant: What is your age?
Ant: My age is 18 Years.
Elephant:18 years and such a small body looks as if you are very young.
Ant: Fair and Lovely lagao aur apni umar chhupao!!
Once an elephant was in love with an ant. He went to his father with the ant on his palm. He asked his father whether he could marry the ant or not. The father refused by saying that the ant was not of their caste.
On this the baby elephant got very angry and stamped his own hand on the ant present on his palm and said, "I want to marry this ant and only this ant." thereby he killed the ant
: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
ANSWER: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
QUESTION: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
ANSWER: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
QUESTION: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
ANSWER: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
QUESTION: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
ANSWER: An elephant is grey.
QUESTION: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
ANSWER: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
QUESTION: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
ANSWER: Two in the front, two in the back.
QUESTION: What game do four elephants in a mini play?
ANSWER: Squash
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
QUESTION: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
QUESTION: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: The door won't close.
QUESTION: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
QUESTION: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
ANSWER: By the footprints in the butter.
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
ANSWER: Wet.
QUESTION: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
ANSWER: One by one.
QUESTION: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
ANSWER: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.
QUESTION: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
ANSWER: No, of course not.
QUESTION: Why do elephants live in herds?
ANSWER: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.
QUESTION: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
ANSWER: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
"An elephant is a mouse with an operating system"
QUESTION: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
ANSWER: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
QUESTION: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
ANSWER: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
QUESTION: Why are elephants wrinkled?
ANSWER: Have you ever tried to iron one?
QUESTION: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
ANSWER: Because it was dead.
QUESTION: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
ANSWER: It was glued to the first one.
QUESTION: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
ANSWER: It thought it was a game.
QUESTION: And why did the tree fall down?
ANSWER: It thought it was an elephant.
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
Male Ants and Female Ants:
Husband was waiving his arms at home and searching.
Wife: What are doing?
Husband: Killing ants and I killed 2 male and 3 female ants..
Wife: How do you know about male and female?
Husband: 2 were on beer can and 3 were on cell phone.
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
Where does a dog search for when it loses his tail?
A retail store.
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
All-out:
a mosquito married to an ant,......they live happily,.....
but some of the friends of mosquito observed that he is sitting outside his house every night,.....
friends ask the reason for this,.............
mosquito replies pathetically,........
;;;;........;;;;;.........;;;;;.......
Ur Bhabhi use ALLOUT for better sleep,.......she switch all-out & sleep,.....;;;;;
1269-2565B
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
Whether you are in love or being beaten by a mosquito - Results will be same..
No sleep whole night!!!
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
3 Rats were telling about their bravery-
Rat 1- I fight with 9 dogs.
Rat 2- I eat cheese from the trap.
Rat 3- ok GUYS' M leaving
I have a date with CAT.
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
In psychology class..
Professor has placed a cake and other side female rat.
Rat gone to cake.
Other time, they places bread and female rat. Then again it goes to bread.
Several times, they put different food items but rat never attracted to female rat.
Professor - It is proved that hunger is bigger than love.
One intelligent student: Sir, Will you please once try to replace the female rat? It may be its wife!!
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present..
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000,
responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this
bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him *"BOSS"!!
ajsevai.com Funny Animal Jokes: Ant, Rat, Elephant, Dog, Cat Jokes:
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers."
"That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Wife: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon..
Husband: But I’m not doing anything..
wife: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why?..
Man: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
TEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
Student: Chrysanthemum..
TEACHER: Spell it..
Student: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Brother in law walked straight to the ugly girl.
Brother in law: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Brother in law: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Brother in law: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Father: My pikin say you drive an commot for school, Wetin he do?
Teacher:- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell “LION” …
Father: Ah Ah…You know say SMALL pikin……
You make him to spell SMALL ANIMAL like “MOSQUITO”…
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Man: Why are all these people running ? ?
Racer: Its a competition, the winner will be given a phone. .
Man: What a pity. Why are they are all running if they know that only one person will get the phone.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Teacher. . . If You have 5 Naira and U ask ur Dad for another 5 Naira , how much will you have?
Student: 5 Naira
Teacher: You don’t know maths
Student: You dont know my fada.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Senator: Hey, Youngman! I heard that you are the idiot that disvirgined my only Daughter.
Convict: Oga sori, it won’t happen again. .
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Lover (female): Please leave; you cant date me because you are not responsible. .
Lover (male): Hahaha, who told you that dat. in my area, when any girl gets pregnant, she says I’m responsible.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
father-in-law: Young man, you coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s a sign of disrespect!
Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.
father-in-law: You mean u drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
father-in-law: U club too?
Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.
father-in-law:- you have also been in prison before? Oh my God!
Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!,
father-in-law:- What!!! you are a killer
Man: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him.
father-in-law: You are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U are absolutely the right man for my daughter.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Husband: I called you DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for in-law. Pack your bags. It's over!!!!
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Wife: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon.
Husband: But I’m not doing anything..
wife: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why?..
Man: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
TEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
Student: Chrysanthemum..
TEACHER: Spell it..
Student: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Brother in law
walked straight to the ugly girl.
Brother in law: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Brother in law: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Brother in law: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Father: My pikin say you drive an commot for school, Wetin he do?
Teacher:- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell “LION” …
Father: Ah Ah…You know say SMALL pikin……
You make him to spell SMALL ANIMAL like “MOSQUITO”…
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Man: Why are all these people running ? ?
Racer: Its a competition, the winner will be given a phone. .
Man: What a pity. Why are they are all running if they know that only one person will get the phone.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Teacher. . . If You have 5 Naira and U ask your Dad for another 5 Naira , how much will you have?
Student: 5 Naira
Teacher: You don’t know maths
Student: You don't know my fada.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Senator: Hey, Youngman! I heard that you are the idiot that disvirgined my only Daughter.
Convict: Oga sori, it won’t happen again. .
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Lover (female): Please leave; you cant date me because you are not responsible. .
Lover (male): Hahaha, who told you that dat. in my area, when any girl gets pregnant, she says I’m responsible.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
father-in-law: Young man, you coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s a sign of disrespect!
Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.
father-in-law: You mean u drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
father-in-law: U club too?
Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.
father-in-law:- You have also been in prison before? Oh my God!
Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!,
father-in-law:- What!!! you are a killer
Man: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him.
father-in-law: You are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U are absolutely the right man for my daughter.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - ajsevai.com
Husband: I called you DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for in-law. Pack your bags. It's over!!!!
QUESTION: How many legs does an elephant have?
ANSWER: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
QUESTION: Why did the elephant cross the road?
ANSWER: Chicken's day off.
QUESTION: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
ANSWER: About 5 mph (8kph in the rest of the world)
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
ANSWER: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
QUESTION: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
ANSWER: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
QUESTION: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
ANSWER: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
QUESTION: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: Can't get the fridge door closed.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
ANSWER: There's a VW parked outside it.
QUESTION: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
ANSWER: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!
QUESTION: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
ANSWER: Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.
QUESTION: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
ANSWER: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO
QUESTION: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
ANSWER: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!
QUESTION: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
ANSWER: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.
QUESTION: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
ANSWER: Depends on the number of elephants.
QUESTION: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
ANSWER: The sun roof.
QUESTION: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
ANSWER: They were stuck in the VW.
QUESTION: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?
ANSWER: None, the elephants are in there!
QUESTION: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
ANSWER: Optimistic!
QUESTION: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
ANSWER: Free Parking.
QUESTION: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
ANSWER: Sole use of the elevator.
QUESTION: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
ANSWER: It's bike is outside.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
ANSWER: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
QUESTION: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
ANSWER: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
QUESTION: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
ANSWER: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
QUESTION: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
ANSWER: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
QUESTION: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
ANSWER: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
QUESTION: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
ANSWER: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
QUESTION: Why do elephants wear sandals?
ANSWER: So that they don't sink in the sand.
QUESTION: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
ANSWER: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
QUESTION: How do you make a dead elephant float?
ANSWER: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....
QUESTION: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
ANSWER: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
QUESTION: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
ANSWER: Parachute him from an airplane.
QUESTION: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
ANSWER: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
QUESTION: What is a furry alligator?
ANSWER: A bear that went into the woods at 3 o'clock.
QUESTION: Why do ducks have flat feet?
ANSWER: From stamping out forest fires.
QUESTION: Why do elephants have flat feet?
ANSWER: From stamping out flaming ducks.
QUESTION: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
ANSWER: To fit on lily pads.
QUESTION: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
ANSWER: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
QUESTION: Why are frogs so short?
ANSWER: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
QUESTION: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
ANSWER: 5 O'clock (trick question - not "Time to get a new fence..")
QUESTION: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
ANSWER: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
QUESTION: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
ANSWER: No? Well, it must work.
QUESTION: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
ANSWER: They're all on the same team.
QUESTION: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
ANSWER: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
QUESTION: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
ANSWER: Take away his credit card.
QUESTION: Why do elephants have trunks?
ANSWER: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
QUESTION: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
ANSWER: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).
QUESTION: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
ANSWER: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".
QUESTION: What do you give a seasick elephant?
ANSWER: Lots of room.
QUESTION: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?
ANSWER: A dead ant.
QUESTION: How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ANSWER: Two, but you need a real big bulb.
QUESTION: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
ANSWER: An elephant with spare parts
QUESTION: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
ANSWER: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!
QUESTION: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
ANSWER: Smokey the Elephant.
QUESTION: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
ANSWER: You miss most of the picture!
QUESTION: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
ANSWER: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
QUESTION: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?
ANSWER: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.
QUESTION: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?
ANSWER: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
QUESTION: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
ANSWER: Cinder elephant.
Hemant : How does an elephant go up a tree?
Sunil: It stands on a corn and waits for it to grow.
A Teacher asked the students of a class that, what is the meaning of dev & Devi?
A Student Replied: Kapil Dev & Sri Devi
Once an ant and elephant were going on a new scooter. They met with an accident. The elephant was died but ant was alive. Why?
Because ant was wearing a helmate.
How does an elephant go on holiday?
He takes a jumbo jet!
Why did the elephant paint his nails red?
So that he could hide in the cherry tree!
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
No? That's because he hides himself so well!
QUESTION: Which gate can we eat?
ANSWER: Colgate.
Once there was an elephant walking on the edge of a valley, full of water. The elephant fell into the water. So, what is the first thing he will do?
Ans- Get wet!!
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